Once We Begin

(This poem is in response to Emma’s Your Wednesday Writing Prompt 29/03/23)

Once

we begin

maybe twice

we begin and

then we begin

again

But

once we begin

(we’re in His beginning)

we’re beginning again

starting over

the second (and … and …)

chance

He’s not letting us go

At each beginning

and in between

chasing us down

picking us up

a whisper from behind

from right beside

“This is the Way”

and again

and still

the strong arms underneath

bringing us

through

again (again)

Once we begin

we are

His

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

Photo of rainbow by Jack Bair

Abandoned, Yet Adopted

“Abandonment is an act carried out by someone who leaves someone alone and feeling helpless. Often, the person doing the abandonment is running away from their responsibilities as a spouse or a parent.” The Agony of Abandonment https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/08/29/the-agony-of-abandonment/  

I do some genealogy work on Ancestry and I found that my husband’s great-grandmother, Minnie, was born in Norway out of wedlock in 1871. Her biological father abandoned her and her mother and immigrated to the United States. When Minnie was five years old her mother married and Minnie was officially adopted and given the name of her new father. The new family also left Norway and came to Michigan, where Minnie married and became the mother of fourteen children. 

Abandonment leaves psychological scars, as does shame. I imagine there was quite a bit of shame with unwed births back in 1871 in a small town in Norway. Being adopted and given a name and then moving from that small town where everyone knew her shame to a new country where no one knew her past probably helped. Apparently, the secret was kept. My husband had no idea of this part of his family’s history. But it made me wonder about Minnie. Did she carry the burden of hidden pain and shame her whole life, or did she find healing? 

“Nothing can shake the soul of a person more than abandonment. No matter what time of our lives it happens, it is excruciating and life-altering.” — ibid. 

But there are other ways to experience abandonment besides being physically deserted that are just as destructive. 

According to WebMD, emotional abandonment occurs when parents: 

• Do not let their children express themselves emotionally 
• Ridicule their children 
• Put too much pressure on their children to be “perfect” 
• Treat their children like their peers ¹

Nicholle Maurer of Seattle Christian Counseling offers a comprehensive list of children’s emotional needs that are not met when emotional abandonment occurs. 

“All of us are born with basic needs since we are created in God’s image. God has designed families to meet these needs for us. However, many children did not experience the fulfillment of these needs, which can lead to problems in adulthood. These are the needs all of us have, starting in childhood:” 

• To be loved 
• To have companions 
• To be nurtured 
• To be valued 
• To be listened to 
• To be understood 
• To be appreciated 
• To be accepted 
• To receive affection² 

I decided to look at these basic emotional needs of a child in light of scripture and I found that our loving Father fulfills them all. Whether we have suffered from physical or emotional abandonment, there is one who is always with us, one who will never abandon us – physically or emotionally – one who fulfills all of our needs. 

To be loved 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4 

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16 

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 

To have companions 

I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid … Luke 12:4 

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. John 15:12-16 

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God … Ephesians 2:19 (ESV) 

To be nurtured 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13 (NLT) 

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. Psalm 68:5 (NLT) 

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4 

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 (NLT) 

To be valued 

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Matthew 6:26 (NLT) 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 

To be listened to 

Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice. He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. Psalm 55:17-18 (ESV) 

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. Psalm 145:19 

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears … This poor man called, and the Lord heard Him; He saved him out of all his troubles. Psalm 34:4, 6 

To be understood 

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15 (NLT) 

For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Psalm 103:14 (NLT) 

To be appreciated 

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV) 

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. Psalm 18:19 (ESV) 

But the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love. Psalm 147:11 (ESV) 

For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation. Psalm 149:4 (ESV) 

To be accepted 

Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:6 

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) 

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— John 1:12 

And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18 

To receive affection 

Jesus looked at him and loved him. Mark 10:21 

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3 (ESV) 

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 (NLT) 

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27 

Minnie’s obituary notes that she was “a devout member of Bethany Methodist Episcopal Church.” I hope that she found healing and comfort in the arms of her loving Father God. If you carry the scars of abandonment, let God take you into his loving arms. Jesus made the way by what he did on the cross out of love for you.  

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 (ESV) 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:4-6 (NKJV) 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (ESV) 

For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage … Psalm 94:14 (ESV) 

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. Psalm 23:1 (NLT) 

¹WebMD https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/abandonment-issues-symptoms-signs  

²Nicholle Maurer, Emotional Abandonment, How to Recover https://seattlechristiancounseling.com/articles/emotional-abandonment-how-to-recover  

Image is a photograph of Helmine “Minnie” Andersen, my husband’s great-grandmother.

My True Identity

I am still looking for my true self   

the one that God made  

not the one molded by my circumstances   

not the one defined by my captors 

hardened by the hideousness of  

life-as-prison 

But where is she  

my true self? 

From the beginning rejected   

mocked and belittled into hiding  

hiding so deep  

so good at hiding  

behind camouflaged multi-locked doors   

even I can’t find her anymore 

wouldn’t know her if I did find her now  

wouldn’t recognize that stranger  

Only love can find her 

Only love can define her  

“To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that love is the reason for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity. Selflessness is my true self. Love is my true character. Love is my name.” — Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation 

… put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:10 

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT) 

Wait. Do you think that maybe the reason why I can’t find that mangled, rejected/ejected self-person is because she no longer exists? Am I looking in the wrong place? 

Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on … Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT) 

Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Psalm 45:10 

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 

Love is my true identity. 

Photo copyright by Sheila Bair

Each of Them

And when the Lamb opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony they had upheld … each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer … Revelation 6:9, 11 

For some reason that phrase “each of them” in this verse struck me. It is so like our Lord to console each one, go through the line one by one, comforting each one individually, and giving each one of them their assurance in the form of a white robe.  

Each of them. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance defines this word as hékastos (from hekas, “separate”). It means “each or every — any, both, each (one), every (man, one, woman), particularly.” The HELPS Word-studies adds “each (individual) unit viewed distinctly, i.e. as opposed to “severally” (as a group).” 

The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges notes that the translation “should read, and there was given them to each one a white robe, bringing out still more fully than the old text, that the white robe is an individual, not a common blessing.” 

Our Lord is an “each of them” Lord. He doesn’t look at us as part of big groups, like our religious or political affiliations. We are not races or cultures or citizens to him. He is not patriotic in any way. He doesn’t group us according to our demographics, like gender, income, education, or geographic location. We are individuals. We are “each of them.” And he cares about each of us. 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for (is concerned for, pays special attention to, gives thought to, takes an interest in) you. 1 Peter 5:7 

Jesus always cared for the individual. Each child brought to him. Each hurting person in the crowd, like the woman with the issue of blood¹, he identified and called to himself for an individual blessing. This kind of caring and taking of time for culturally insignificant, and sometimes culturally despised and rejected, individuals flabbergasted the disciples.  

One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him. Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! Luke 18:15-16 (NLT) 

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’” Mark 5:30-31  

I think the disciples wanted, and expected, Jesus to get on with the really important stuff of setting them free from Roman rule and taking over the kingdom. Instead, he kept stopping to look people in the eye, and talk with them, and place his hands of blessing and healing on them, and love them – individually. He still does.

I want you to know and hear this. You are an “each of them.” You are not a bother to him. He cares for you. You. Come, let him lay his hands on your head. Let him look you in the eye and speak comfort to you. Whoever and wherever you are. Right now.  

At sunset, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them. Luke 4:40 

… He is not far from each one of us. Acts 17:27b (NKJV) 

¹Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:24-34, Luke 8:43-48 

Ashes

(This poem is in response to Emma’s Wednesday Writing Prompt of 11/03/23 )

Our God is a consuming fire 

my life consumed 

seemingly gone 

Ashes rising in the vortex of furious love 

amidst the incense of fire-yielded despair 

by Spirit-breath blown away  

Yet not despised 

Scattered on the soil of 

withered hope 

dying trust 

stunted love 

Nothing is lost 

that is surrendered to 

His fire 

Photo, Flame by Annie Roi https://flic.kr/p/9VB6y7  

… the least of these

Coming home from another exhausting day caring for my widowed mom, I was pondering a popular idea right now of “no contact.”¹ See, my mom is a very broken and wounded person, and wounded people wound. She has always been what some call a narcissist. A narcissist is a supremely wounded soul. So, this idea of abandoning her, cancelling her, in order to protect myself, is sometimes, on bad days, fleetingly attractive. But then God, out of the blue, put this verse in my mind: 

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40 

Wow, I was stunned because I don’t think I have ever thought of my own family in this way. It’s always “people out there” who are the least of these. But actually, I realized that I have begun seeing a “least of these” in my mom. There is a broken, hurting little girl in there who is being uncovered as dementia ravages her brain. A hurting little “least of these.” She is telling me terrible and brutal things that happened to her that she has always kept hidden from us.  

But my mom has been and continues to be, with even less restraint now because of the disease, hurtful and cutting at times. The idea of turning away is sometimes very inviting. Ah, but then another word comes:  

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28 

OK, I’m beginning to see I have a different standard to follow, a different way to walk. 

If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. 1 Timothy 5:16 (ESV) 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 

Jesus replied, “‘… honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 19:18-19 

Honoring and caring for your father and mother appears to be very important to God. In Ephesians 6:2 Paul writes, “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—”so that it may go well with you …” One of the last things that Jesus did, hanging on the cross dying, was to ensure the care of his mother: 

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. John 19:26-27 

Jesus was obeying the commandment, he was pleasing God, he was loving and being Love. There are times, I know, where “no contact” is warranted, physical or sexual abuse in particular. And everyone must hear from God for themselves. But, for me anyway, God is saying to keep loving her, to let Him love her through me. And as he gives me the grace to do it, I am able to see her as God sees her, a sweet, wounded little girl. I am finding that in the face of this God-love, Christ-in-me love, just unconditional-because-it-pleases-God love, she softens, and her real self is exposed. And I see “the least of these” emerge more and more. 

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 

¹A definition of “No Contact” in this context can be found here: https://psychcentral.com/health/does-going-no-contact-with-a-parent-heal-you-the-answer-isnt-what-you-think 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201105/narcissistic-parents-contact-or-not

Image in the Public Domain 

Live With Guts

Finally (the end to which all things relate, the aim, the purpose),¹  

all of you, be like-minded (share the same perspective, the same mind, be harmonious, enjoying divinely-inspired harmony, i.e. knowing God’s mind, His thoughts, as He reveals it through faith),  

be sympathetic (be “with suffering” for each other, suffer or feel the like with each other, be understanding, mutually commiserative),  

love one another (love like a brother, an affectionate friend, be brotherly, like the love between fellow family-members in God’s family),  

be compassionate (tender-hearted, have good, positive gut-level sympathy, empathy, compassion– i.e. live with guts),  

and humble (lowly of mind, regulated by the inner perspective of having a humble opinion of oneself, a deep sense of one’s moral littleness, lowliness of mind, the inside-out virtue produced by comparing ourselves to the Lord rather than to others, bringing your behavior into alignment with this inner revelation, living in complete dependence on the Lord, with no reliance on self). 1 Peter 3:8 

Peter is writing mostly to fellow believers in the above letter, and he writes that love is the end to which all things relate, the purpose, the aim – a certain kind of love. A love that keeps on walking, though we stumble, towards having the mind of Christ, suffering with each other in the mutual pain of this world as Jesus did and does for us. To love and accept each other as family. (Think of it, we always put up with more from our family than “strangers.”) To live with guts, as Jesus did here on earth, from the center of our being, with empathy and compassion for our fellow strugglers/travelers. To view ourselves from the inside-out, for we know what’s in there, we and God. Yes, that is the aim of this Christian walk. But there is a bigger purpose. 

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:35 

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples.–The thought of their state of orphanage when He should depart from them is still present. He gives them a bond of union, by which they should always be linked to Him and to each other in the principle of love. The followers of great Teachers and Rabbis had their distinctive marks. Here was the distinctive Christian mark, which all men should be able to read. It is instructive that the characteristic mark of Christianity should thus be asserted by its Founder to consist, not in any formulary or signs, but in the love which asserts the brotherhood of man. The apologists of the first centuries delighted in appealing to the striking fact of the common love of Christians, which was a new thing in the history of mankind; and while the Church has sometimes forgotten the characteristic, the world never has. By their love for each other, for mankind, for God, is it known or denied that men who call themselves Christians are really Christ’s disciples.” — Ellicott’s Commentary 

This is our distinctive mark! That we love each other. Do I have that mark? Is it obvious to people that I am a Christian because of how I love?  

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:12 

Loving each other is how we love the unseen God. Even more wonderful, as we do this kind of love towards God and each other, we become as Jesus walking on the earth. 

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like (just as, corresponding to fully, exactly like) Jesus. 1 John 4:16-17 

And what happened when Jesus walked down here? The meek and the lowly, the people ready to receive Him, were drawn to Him, and they were healed and saved and changed. That is “the end to which all things relate, the aim, the purpose” of this love to which we are called. 

 I am not sure that we are where God desires us to be yet, at least not me. And I know that I can never be there on my own. And it’s only by fixing my eyes on Jesus, working towards aligning my words and my doings and my guts with his, and putting my powerless hand into his strong one on this rocky path that I am ever going to make it. The only way that any of us will ever make it home. Let’s live with guts! Compassionate, tenderhearted, with gut-level empathy. Let our hearts be broken for each other that we might be like Jesus, bringing life and light. 

Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” Mark 1:41 (NLT) 

There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged Jesus to place his hand on him … He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh (moan, groan from grief) said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means “Be opened!”). Mark 7:32, 34 

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled … Jesus wept. John 11:33, 35 

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it … Luke 19:41 

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Mark 6:34 

¹Amplification from Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, and HELPS Word-studies at Bible Hub.

Photo by Jack Bair

Swimming in Glory

You have made men like the fish of the sea, like creeping things that have no ruler. The foe pulls all of them up with a hook; he catches them in his dragnet, and gathers them in his fishing net; so he rejoices gladly. Habakkuk 1:14-15 

For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea. Habakkuk 2:14 

Did you ever think of that? That we are like fish of the sea and that we were made to, and are, swimming in the glory of God? Pretty amazing, isn’t it? The Glory of God is our natural habitat. The angels recorded by Isaiah call out that the whole earth is full of God’s glory. 

And they [the seraphim] were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” Isaiah 6:3 

But, even more poignant, is that this natural habitat we are meant to swim in is the awareness of God’s glory. We were made to be aware that we are swimming in the glory of God. The word above translated “knowledge,” in the phrase the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God, is yada (יֹדֵ֣עַ). It is a gigantic word struggling to contain an infinite God. It means to know, to learn to know, perceive and see, to know by experience, recognize, admit, acknowledge, confess, know intimately, be acquainted with, be aware of.  

Being consciously aware of His Presence with us, is the “practice of the Presence of God” that Brother Lawrence wrote about.¹ God wants us always to be aware that he is with us. God always wants to be known and to know. 

All the peoples of the earth are fish swimming in the sea of the Glory of God. Yet, many are swimming blindly, unaware of the glory of God’s Presence, the glory of his love for them. Habakkuk warns that there is an enemy fishing for them to destroy and devour them. 

… The foe pulls all of them up with a hook; he catches them in his dragnet, and gathers them in his fishing net.  

But Jesus has called us to be “fishers of men” that they might live. That the Glory of God might be revealed to them. That they might know, learn to know, perceive and see, know by experience, recognize, admit, acknowledge, confess, know intimately, be acquainted with, be aware of God – and that they may be healed and saved. 

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19 (ESV) 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

For more about God’s fishnet see Imprisoned

¹ The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. Full text online here https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Practice_of_the_Presence_of_God  

Image free download, Creative Commons Zero – CC0 

What is Love?

Recently my sister asked me “what is love?” She is wrestling like me. I am not completely certain, but one thing for sure, caregiving has given me a different picture of love. 

Love is definitely NOT warm fuzzy feelings. It may not even be at its core emotion at all, though there are emotions attached to it. But love transcends emotion because emotions are flesh. Real love is in the spirit. God is love and God is Spirit. Yet, God definitely has emotions. 

At its heart and essence, I’m beginning to see that love resides somewhere in the grit-your-teeth killing of the self. It is keeping on, enduring, persevering, choosing to do the right thing though you know you will be misunderstood, rejected, punished for it. It is taking the next step and the next step and the next, always focused on what pleases God, what will heal and help and draw others into understanding and knowing who the Father is.  

It is giving whatever it is that we have without expecting anything at all. Always holding in our open hands blessing, acceptance, another chance, hope. Representing our Lord, being a picture of him here on earth. It’s all of the bless-those-who-curse-you, do-good-to-those-who-mistreat-you stuff. It is definitely doing what you don’t want to do a lot of the time. It is letting the nails sink right in and not trying to hurt back. In other words, it’s being Jesus, his body, here and now. 

I don’t have it yet. Honestly, for me so far, it has been yelling and venting and questioning everything, scraping all my assumptions and expectations off down to the bedrock and starting over. It’s been wrestling down the flesh every single day – anger and resentment and fear and despair and unforgiveness and entitlement and doubt and worthless words* – surrendering over and over, and choosing again and again to let go and wait for God and trust that his strength will come. Strength to be poured out like water on the ground. To let Christ love in me and through me. Because there is no way I can do this kind of love.

*More on Worthless Words

Image copyright Sheila Bair

Creaking and Spinning

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you [spin around under the influence of violent emotion] with loud singing [creaking, singing, shout of joy, cry of gladness, joy, proclamation, rejoicing, triumph]. Zephaniah 3:17 

When I babysit my granddaughter, one of her all-time favorite things to do is to dance around in my arms singing at the top of our lungs. I have done this since she was an infant, dancing and singing to her. Lately, she has joined in with my creaky singing, a little off-key, but exuberantly and loudly. She especially loves to spin around when we are dancing. Her dad says she is an adrenaline junky. There are certain places in certain songs where we absolutely MUST spin around, and certain lyrics that MUST be sung/shouted with absolute joy. Especially, at least for me, joy in our relationship, gramma and granddaughter, and our love for each other. 

When I read the recent blog by Beholding Ministries, The God Who Sings, I saw how our singing and dancing around is a perfect picture of Zephaniah 3:17. And for the first time I was able to realize God’s joy over me described in this verse. His spinning me around I hope will someday soon produce, not out-of-control fear of being dropped, but belly-laughs-birthed-from-complete-trust-and-joy surrender into his strong hands. Because it does feel like I am spinning around these days. I cannot seem to focus on the horizon and I am tempted to panic. But I will remember that he is the mighty one who will save – who is saving no matter what things look like – who rejoices over me, his child, (singing loudly and NOT creaking, I’m sure!) with gladness, joy and triumph.  

Lord help me not to be afraid of the dance of joy. 

Photo by Reilly Images, LLC