Twinkle Lights

A while ago I published a blog called Grace Recognized. That is the definition of the Greek word translated “joy” in the New Testament – just recognizing God’s working around us. And many times, just as His voice is not a loud shout, but a still, small voice, His works of grace are found in what C.S. Lewis called “patches of Godlight” or what Brené Brown calls “twinkle lights.” I hope these quotes will bless you and help you recognize your special God-made patches of joy. 

“We – or at least I – shall not be able to adore God on the highest occasions if we have learned no habit of doing so on the lowest. At best, our faith and reason will tell us that He is adorable, but we shall not have found Him so, not have ‘tasted and seen.’ Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are ‘patches of Godlight’ in the woods of experience.” – C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer, San Diego: Mariner, 2002. 

“Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy. Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments—often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down extraordinary moments. Other times we’re so afraid of the dark that we don’t dare let ourselves enjoy the light. A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable. I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration, and faith.” — Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

My sister wrote the following to me after reading a chapter in The Gifts of Imperfection:

“I just finished this chapter. I absolutely love the word picture of joy as twinkle lights and not the overwhelming burst of light I have always pictured it as. Now I can look for joy everywhere because it is everywhere in the middle of all the darkness. I have missed joy a lot focusing on the darkness around it. Fear of loss keeping me from fully enjoying what is right in front of me.” 

Yes, these little patches of joy are right in from of us. In her daily devotional book Each New Day, Corrie ten Boom wrote of a twinkle-light of joy that God sent to her in one of the darkest dungeons of human experience and suffering, Ravensbrück concentration camp.

“Once, while we were on a roll call, a cruel guard kept us standing for a long, long time. Suddenly, a skylark began to sing in the sky, and all the prisoners looked up to listen to  that bird’s song. As I looked at the bird, I saw the sky and thought of Psalms 103:11. O love of God, how deep and great; far deeper than man’s deepest hate. God sent that skylark daily for three weeks, exactly during roll call, to turn our eyes away from the cruelty of man to the oceans of His love.”

 A one-to-one, just-for-me, smile from a grandchild, the sunrise-welcoming cries of Sandhill cranes answered by an owl, baby breath puffs and “butterfly kisses” on my neck, peachy full moon breaking through obscuring clouds, a special gift from the Lord in the form of a rock on the beach or a book at a thrift shop (and I know it’s from him, as only he could know), startling moments when I am fully in His Presence.

Consider it all joy.

All = all, every, every one, each part, one piece at a time, individual parts, all, always, daily. 

“Lord, make me see thy glory in every place.” — Michelangelo 

Image, free download from pickpik.com

Creaking and Spinning

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you [spin around under the influence of violent emotion] with loud singing [creaking, singing, shout of joy, cry of gladness, joy, proclamation, rejoicing, triumph]. Zephaniah 3:17 

When I babysit my granddaughter, one of her all-time favorite things to do is to dance around in my arms singing at the top of our lungs. I have done this since she was an infant, dancing and singing to her. Lately, she has joined in with my creaky singing, a little off-key, but exuberantly and loudly. She especially loves to spin around when we are dancing. Her dad says she is an adrenaline junky. There are certain places in certain songs where we absolutely MUST spin around, and certain lyrics that MUST be sung/shouted with absolute joy. Especially, at least for me, joy in our relationship, gramma and granddaughter, and our love for each other. 

When I read the recent blog by Beholding Ministries, The God Who Sings, I saw how our singing and dancing around is a perfect picture of Zephaniah 3:17. And for the first time I was able to realize God’s joy over me described in this verse. His spinning me around I hope will someday soon produce, not out-of-control fear of being dropped, but belly-laughs-birthed-from-complete-trust-and-joy surrender into his strong hands. Because it does feel like I am spinning around these days. I cannot seem to focus on the horizon and I am tempted to panic. But I will remember that he is the mighty one who will save – who is saving no matter what things look like – who rejoices over me, his child, (singing loudly and NOT creaking, I’m sure!) with gladness, joy and triumph.  

Lord help me not to be afraid of the dance of joy. 

Photo by Reilly Images, LLC

Drenched in Tears

I’m kind of reluctant to admit this, but most times God speaks to me at church more with the lyrics of the worship songs than with the sermon. Two songs in the last month have been light to me, O Praise the Name¹, and Goodness of God². 

Singing O Praise the Name Sunday, I was arrested by these lyrics: 

His body bound and drenched in tears 
They laid Him down in Joseph’s tomb 
The entrance sealed by heavy stone 
Messiah still and all alone 

I suddenly realized, or I guess it really sank in, that Jesus’ followers didn’t know he was going to rise from the dead. They didn’t know. Jesus’ dead body was drenched in tears.  

We are settled into the comfy assurance of the resurrection. Even people who aren’t Christians know Jesus rose from the dead. He is famous for it. And that is good, but also bad. See, knowing Jesus rose from the dead is like the biggest spoiler ever in the history of the world. But they didn’t know. 

Maybe it is necessary for us to experience death and grief and utter despair in order to fully experience resurrection, new life, joy, amazing grace. Not arrogant assumption; not ho-hum presumption. That’s where the second song comes in. 

You have led me through the fire 
In the darkest night 
You are close like no other 
I’ve known You as a Father 
I’ve known You as a Friend 
And I have lived in the goodness of God  

… And all my life You have been faithful  
And all my life You have been so, so good 
With every breath that I am able 
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God 

“All my life you have been faithful.” That lyric has been vibrating through me like a bell. Because I never fully realized until lately just how faithful He has been in my life. I really don’t remember much of my childhood. I am sure that I deliberately forgot it, tried to not even experience it as it happened. But God has been healing me and He is getting down to the core pain. I am realizing that I endured decades of abuse, mostly emotional. But God was always there. All my life he has been faithful. 

Amazing grace. Resurrection joy – His but also our own and those we love and pray for. Think of the joy and wonder and the testimony we would miss – the witness we would not have – if there was no suffering, no grief and despair, no death. Death of hopes and dreams, death of relationships, physical pain and struggle. Would we really know God as Father, as Friend, as good, as faithful, if we had never known abandonment, rejection, fear, the end of the road, the edge of the cliff, the sealed-up grave? 

Jesus had to experience death in order to set us free. Maybe we have to experience a kind of death in order to have the solid-rock faith, the knowing God’s faithfulness, the hope and confidence that we can bring to others. Maybe we need to be drenched in tears so that we can say, with every breath that we are able, all my life He has been faithful. All my life He has been so, so good. 

“God comforts us so that we can comfort others. God grants us mercy so that we can be merciful to others. God stands whole-heartedly with us in our suffering so that we will stand whole-heartedly with others who are suffering. God never leaves us alone in our suffering so that we won’t leave others alone in theirs.” — Dave Zuleger³ 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.  2 Corinthians 1:3–5 

For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Revelation 7:17 

¹O Praise the Name. Songwriters: Martin W. Sampson / Benjamin William Hastings / Dean Ussher 

²Goodness of God. Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Ed Cash / Brian Mark Johnson / Jenn Louise Johnson / Ben David Fielding 

³God Brings Us Suffering for Others’ Sake https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/god-brings-us-suffering-for-others-sake    

Image in the Public Domain

Born for to Die

I wonder as I wander out under the sky that Jesus my Savior did come for to die … ¹

Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying. Hebrews 2:14–15 (NLT) 

Jesus, born for to die. The Son of God becoming flesh and blood, born a human being so He could die for all us human beings. I absolutely believe and am forever grateful for that. 

But recently I have been wrestling with something – maybe the hardest thing of all to wrestle with. What if I was “born for to die” too? What if that is the whole reason I am here – to die – so others might live? What if I am not here to live my “best life” but to give it all up? To live His life, the life He gave up for me? 

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 

But living His life means me dying. Jesus calls us to be His witnesses. Did you know that the Greek word means “martyr”? 

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8).  

“Not my workers. Not my worshipers. Not my weekend warriors. My witnesses. It means those who will cease to live for themselves and learn to live with me and from me and through me and to me and for me.” — J.D. Walt, I Speak Jesus 

“[T]hose who will cease to live for themselves.” The Greek word is martus (μάρτυς ) – witness, martyr. You will be my martyrs. Rarely the way we usually think of a martyr, being killed for his or her faith gloriously in some foreign country. And, definitely not the modern psychological dysfunction self-glorification, self-pitying definition of the word. But through, what Elisabeth Elliot called, “little ‘deaths’.” 

“So my decision to receive Him, although made only once, I must affirm in thousands of ways, through thousands of choices, for the rest of my life—my will or His, my life (the old one) or His (the new one). It is no to myself and yes to Him. This continual affirmation is usually made in small things, inconveniences, unselfish giving up of preferences, yielding gracefully to the wishes of others without playing the martyr, learning to close doors quietly and turn the volume down on the music we’d love to play loudly—sufferings they may be, but only small-sized ones. We may think of them as little ‘deaths’.” — Elisabeth Elliot, A Path through Suffering  

For the joy set before him he endured the cross … Hebrews 12:2 

If I am to be like Jesus, if I can somehow realize that I was “born for to die,” then maybe I can (someday) “consider it all joy” when faced with all the “little deaths.” With the big deaths too. Some seem so very big. 

“The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up your self, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.” — C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

“Beware of only saying, ‘Christ was crucified for me’; say, too, ‘I am crucified with Christ.’” — Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray on the Holy Spirit 

Still wrestling … 

¹ Lyrics by John Jacob Niles

Image of dead apple blossoms available under CC0 Public Domain 

I Can Almost See

toddler 

giggling 

at top speed 

fearless  

intrepid 

exuberant 

lurching drunkenly  

down the stony path 

I can almost see  

the angels reaching out  

to catch her 

Grace Recognized

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:9-12 

Joy = xará (χαρά) 

To me, the verses above in John have been like a Rubik’s Cube. I kept moving the parts – love, commands, joy – around, trying to make sense of them. I have written before about having trouble grasping joy. But this time, as I looked at the meaning of the Greek word translated joy above, the light broke through and I felt the last piece slide into place. 

As in the movie Princess Bride, the word does not mean what I think it means. The definition says nothing about emotions or feelings. It does not focus on me at all. But rather, it turns and looks in wonder at God. The word simply means the awareness of God’s grace and favor; it is “grace recognized.” And if joy is grace recognized, then I begin to see why I have had such a hard time with joy. 

Xará is one of three cognates of, or words that derive from, the root xar- “favor, disposed to, inclined, favorable towards, leaning towards to share benefit.” The three are xaírō (“rejoice because of grace”), xará (“joy because of grace”) and xáris (“grace” the Lord’s favor – freely extended to give Himself away to people because He is “always leaning toward them”).¹ 

If you have never felt that kind of favor inclined towards you from humans, especially from your parents, then it is hard to recognize it from God. “[T]he Bible teaches that grace is completely unmerited. The gift and the act of giving have nothing at all to do with our merit or innate quality (Romans 4:4; 11:5–6; 2 Timothy 1:9–10).”² If all the “favor” or approval you ever received was, or was perceived to be, earned, dependent on approved performance, fulfilling the fantasies and demands of others, then the idea of unmerited grace is foreign. Certainly, joy because of grace is a mystery. 

The Bible is clear that God’s joy, love and grace are all bound up together in Christ Jesus. According to Romans 5:6-8, grace is a demonstration of God’s love. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless (sick, without strength, feeble, insufficient, unimpressive), Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

I know and believe this passionately. But I am beginning to see that for a long time I have been chained, deeply and unconsciously, to the insufficient and unimpressive parts of the above translation. The recognition, the awareness – the joy – of God’s unmerited grace has been like brilliant sunlight shining down briefly through a hole in dark clouds. Like a bright light hidden under heavy blankets of oppression. Maybe that is why Jesus said, “No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light (Luke 8:16).” Maybe it’s so that I can see it too. 

Jesus’ joy is also the awareness of this grace. The grace that demonstrates the Father’s unconditional love. The grace and love demonstrated (freely extended to give Himself away) by Jesus who would endure the cross “for the joy set before him” (Hebrews 12:2).  

So, joy is not just another performance – how high I can raise my hands, how loudly I can sing. It is not another opportunity to fail to get it right, to be insufficient, unimpressive. But rather, it is “merely” a recognizing, an acknowledging, an awareness of the gift offered in his outstretched hands – 

the sun on my face 

bird-joy greeting the dawn 

the unfailing Presence 

a Father’s love leaning towards me 

blood running down a wooden cross 

… fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame … Hebrews 12:2 (NASB) 

He is not here; he has risen … So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy (grace recognized), and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings (Rejoice!),” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Matthew 28:6-10 

¹ All definitions from Bible Hub https://biblehub.com/  

² What is the definition of grace? Got Questions https://www.gotquestions.org/definition-of-grace.html  

Image, A shaft of sunlight pierces the threatening clouds, by Mark Levisay  https://flic.kr/p/J9cBSr  

Nothing Is Too Hard

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32:17 

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19ⁱ 

I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27 

Nothing is too hard for God. Not the hard heart of stone you are praying for. Not the hard, seemingly impossible, situation.  

The Hebrew word translated “too hard” is pala (פָלָא). It means “to be surpassing or extraordinary.” It also means “to accomplish, to arise.” It seems like God is saying, “I am the miraculous God. I created you and this whole universe. Can you say that anything is too surpassing, too extraordinary, too marvelous for me to accomplish?”  

This is what the LORD Almighty says: “It may seem marvelous to the remnant of this people at that time, but will it seem marvelous to me?” declares the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 8:6 

When God says “nothing is too hard for me,” I suddenly don’t hear him saying it defensively, or even trying to argue or persuade. Maybe not even trying to encourage or inspire (though that is what happens). I hear him shouting out in victory that shakes the heavens and makes the earth tremble. I hear him laughing with joy. Joy for us. Joy of marvelous love. 

Is anything too hard for me? 

For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37 (ESV) 

ⁱSee also Ezekiel 36:26

Image, Heart of Stone by Norman Scharabatka https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Heart_of_stone.jpg  

The King’s Friend

Hushai the Arkite was the king’s friend. 1 Chronicles 27:33  

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 (ESV) 

These are two verses that seem strange to put together. But that is what I felt the Lord doing recently. What could these verses have in common I wondered.

  The first verse comes after a long list of King David’s royal officials and their important responsibilities. One was in charge of the king’s storehouses, one was in charge of the field workers who farmed the land, one the vineyards, another the olive and sycamore trees. There were officials in charge of the cattle and the other livestock, the king’s property, the king’s sons, and Ahithophel the king’s adviser.  

And then at the end it says, “Hushai was the king’s friend.” As a performance-oriented person, tempted to salvation by works, that jarred me. Just his friend. The word for friend used here is a Hebrew word which means friend, companion, intimate. It comes from the verb form which means to be a special friend. But still, just a friend. 

So, what does that have to do with joy and peace in believing? I decided to look into the meaning of the Greek word for joy used in Romans 15:13 and I was pretty shocked. 

The Greek word is chara (χαρά). It means “cheerfulness, i.e. calm delight.” The verb form is chairo which means “calmly happy” according to Strong’s ⁱ. 

This surprised me because I’ve always thought of joy as expressed like David dancing with all his might – singing songs at the top of my lungs, jumping and clapping and dancing. 

Joy always has seemed like a doing thing to me, even something I had to manufacture, some kind of outward expression. Certainly not calm delight.  

There is another Greek word for joy or rejoice, agalliao (ἀγαλλιάω). And that one does mean “jumping for joy.” It is the word that Mary used in her song of praise: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices (jumps for joy) in God my Savior” (Luke 1:46-47). 

But the joy expressed in Romans 15:13 is a different kind of joy. It’s a believing, firm, standing on the Rock, I know-it-in-my-knower kind of joy. So, it makes sense to me for this calm delight to be paired with peace. Peace is the Greek word eirene (εἰρήνη). It means, among other things, the “tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God.” 

According to the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament peace is, in its widest sense, the “normal state of all things.” Wow, I love that! Peace is what is supposed to be the normal state of all things, but especially between me and God. It is peace of soul. “Peace of soul is meant in Rom. 15:13, although this peace is possible only through the saving work of God which restores our normal state … it is a positive state inseparably connected with joy and faith.” 

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 4:25-5:2 

Let not your hearts be troubled (agitated, troubled, anxious, distressed, take away your calmness of mind). Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1 (ESV) 

But what does all of this have to do with being a friend of God? It’s the “doing something” thing again. The salvation by works thing. All of King David’s royal officials had works they did. But Hushai was “just” the king’s friend. I see now that there is no “just” about it in God’s mind. 

The miraculous thing is that God wants us all to be called the King’s friend. I believe it is His ultimate goal and passion. 

I don’t know about you, but the command to be joyful has been accompanied by a certain amount of guilt for me. I am not always happy and jumpy and clappy. I get weighed down with the effects of sin and the oppression and sorrow in this world. But I know – I know – that I am the King’s friend. Calmly delighted and happy, tranquilly assured of my salvation through Jesus Christ my Lord. 

Because of what Jesus did on the cross, being the special friend of God, having peace with God, is my normal state. And that is joy. 

I have called you friends … John 15:15 

You too can be God’s friend – Salvation

ⁱ Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible

Image copyright Jack Bair 

Count it All Joy — His eye is on the sparrow

I do have some difficult times so often with the defining of the word JOY. I have been riding it like a roller coaster up and down, round and round, off and on for many years. I’m coming to almost believe I might just be obsessed with the subject. I simply can’t let it go. […]

Count it All Joy — His eye is on the sparrow

Rock of Joy

Lately, my heart has been heavy, so heavy, with grief and pain for a lot of reasons – personal to global. Having a real struggle with that joy thing. Crying a lot, crying out to God. Then, all in one morning, the following blogs and daily devotionals show up in my email. A gift of grace and mercy. Emmanuel.  

Perhaps you are burdened with some sort of heavy grief. It could be over someone dear to you who is suffering, in trouble, or hurting. It could be a son or daughter who is backslidden, slowly sinking into the death of sin. Or it could be a loved one facing a severe, looming financial crisis. I say to all: Jesus Christ is moved by your grief. — David Wilkerson https://worldchallenge.org/devotion/burdened-heavy-grief?ref=devos  

The Oxford Dictionary defines anxiety as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” Psychiatry defines anxiety as “a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.” Anxiety is common to humanity; it lives on a spectrum and we know it when we feel it. But what is it, really? Here’s my take: anxiety is the felt experience of being unaware of the presence of God …  “Do not be anxious about anything.” Translation: be aware of the presence of God in all things all the time. — J.D. Walt 

Are you telling me that when I sing “Joy to the Word, the Lord is come, let earth receive her King” that I am proclaiming Jesus as King and Ruler of MY life? That “Let every heart prepare Him room” actually means room in MY heart? Are you wanting me to believe that every heart that dies to self is a heart that will sing? — blogged by Beholding Ministries https://beholdinghimministries.org/2020/12/18/i-adore-selah/ 

To magnify God is to look closely at him and take careful notice of his actions and attributes. Mary, the mother of Jesus, did exactly that. We read an example in the account of her visit to Cousin Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-56) … For ten verses (Luke 1:46-55), Mary magnifies the Lord, examining the reason for her joy (vs. 46-49) and looking closely at God’s attributes and actions (50-55). Never mind her relative poverty, the misunderstanding and derision of others, or the uncertainty of the future. Mary focused on God who was working a miracle within her. — Nancy Ruegg https://nancyaruegg.com/2020/12/17/marys-joy-our-joy/  

In Psalm 30:5, the psalmist says joy is found on the other side of suffering — weeping lasts the night, ‘but joy comes with the morning’ … it is just as true that my night of weeping would give way, in due time, to a tearless joy. That’s what I think the psalmist means when he says that joy follows sorrow. There are waves of sorrow and pain and loss that break, big waves that break, over the unshakable rock of Christian joy, and these waves submerge the laughter in the surging. You can feel it: the surging surf of weeping that wells up unbidden from your heart. But they don’t dislodge the rock, and the waves recede in due time, and the rock glistens again in tearless sunlight … The rock of joy is submerged in grief, but it is not dislodged, overthrown, or removed. — John Piper https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/does-joy-come-after-suffering-or-in-it  

Image, Rocks and Surf in Iceland by Timbu https://flic.kr/p/SwwxzG